You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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