nut hugger
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
