She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
