that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
so much tequila, so little girl.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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