There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
