it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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