i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
