Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
