do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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