Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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