and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize