I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize