He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
my poor anus
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
