I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
