I want to make a zoo with you.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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