in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
