Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
