How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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