why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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