you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
