sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
