If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
