you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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