I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
This is the high leading the old right now
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
