Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
ttyl tear gas
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
