...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
