you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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