Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
