Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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