once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
