they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
