well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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