At least make sure they are 18
Why
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
