I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
