I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Alive.
So much puke
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Randomize
