About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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