he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
this is an emotional support booty call
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
