i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
