she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
