...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
