wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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