I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
