she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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