As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
