11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Randomize
