tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize