Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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