Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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