I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
