Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
