her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
