so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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