I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize