wakey wakey hands off snakey
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
is that a dick in a sweater?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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