hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
