i just had sex bonerless
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize