my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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