sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Farmville is her only friend.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
