This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize