What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
