you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
