what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
