I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
