OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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