third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
