Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
