Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i think i have herpe
just one?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
