Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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