I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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