therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
smell my finger.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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