Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
