idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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