All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
